JDs With Hats
by Deximon
Summary: Veronica is a regular student and wants it to stay that way. But life isn't easy when your closest is a sociopath! Based off of Llamas With Hats. (HIATUS)(READ BIO)
1. Episode 1

Episode 1

Veronica: JDDDDD! There is a dead human in our house!

JD: Oh, hey! How did she get here?

Veronica: JJJJDDDDD! What did you do?

JD: Me? Er- uh- oh! I didn't do this.

Veronica: Explain what happened, JD.

JD: I've never seen her before in my life!

Veronica: Why did you kill this person, JD?

JD: I do not kill people. That is- that is my _least_ favorite thing to do.

Veronica: Tell me JD. Exactly what you were doing before I got home.

JD: Well, I was upstairs.

Veronica: Okay.

JD: I-I was sitting in my room.

Veronica: Yes.

JD: Reading a book.

Veronica: Go on.

JD: And, uh, well this girl walked in.

Veronica: Okay..

JD: So I went up to her.

Veronica: Yes?

JD: And, I, uh, well, I stabbed her 37 times in the chest.

Veronica: …

Veronica: JDDDDD! That _kills_ people!

JD: Oh! Oh, well...I, uh.

Veronica: JD..

JD: I did not know that.

Veronica: HOW could you not know that?!

JD: I am in the wrong here. I suck!

Veronica: What happened to her hands?

JD: What?

Veronica: Her hands! What-Why are they missing?

JD: Well, I-I just kind of cut them up. And fed them.

Veronica: JDDDD!

JD: Well, the puppy was hungry. And well, when those babies crave hands, that's-

Veronica: Why on earth would you do that?

JD: They were hungry for hands! Give me a break.

Veronica: JDD!

JD: Stomachs were making the rumblies.

Veronica: JDDD!

JD: That only hands would satisfy.

Veronica: What is _wrong _with you, JD?!

JD: Well, I kill people and feed hands to dogs. That's-That's two things.

**oooOOooo**

**End of Episode I!**

**To straighten things out, this is based off of Llamas With Hats. I saw a shitpost animatic of this withthe same fanfic title, so I wanted to do a multi-chapter story on the series. All twelves LWH episodes are on YT. It's just like Heathers; it's about the relationship bewteen a sociopath and a regular that'll leave you laughing, hugging your blanket, and crying once it's over.**

**Review, and let me know if I should keep going. Thanks!**

**-Deximon**


	2. Episode 2

Episode 2

Veronica: Er, JD! What in earth was all that?

JD: I'm not sure what you're referring to.

Veronica: You sunk an entire cruise ship, JD!

JD: Are you sure that was me? I-I would think I would remember something like that.

Veronica: JD, I watched you fire a harpoon into the captain's face.

JD: That sounds dangerous.

Veronica: You were head-butting children off the side of the ship!

JD: That, uh, that must've been horrifying to watch.

Veronica: Then you started making out with the ice sculptures.

JD: Thank god that the children were not on board to see that!

Veronica: Uh, JD? Why is the lifeboat all red and sticky?

JD: Huh. I guess you could say it is red and sticky.

Veronica: JD, what're we standing in?

JD: Would you believe it's strawberry slush?

Veronica: No, I would not believe that!

JD: Melted gumdrops?

Veronica: No..

JD: Drain cleaner.

Veronica: No!

JD: Some of God's tears.

Veronica: Tell me the truth, JD!

JD: Fine...it's the lovely linebacker-quarterback couple from 2B.

Veronica: JJJJDDDDD!

JD: Well, they were, uh. They were taking all the crescent rolls!

Veronica: I cannot believe what I'm hearing!

JD: I will not apologize for art!

Veronica: Where are the other lifeboats?

JD: Woah! You won the prize! I didn't notice that.

Veronica: Where are the other lifeboats, JD?

JD: Looking at the trajectory of the moon and the sun, probably at the bottom of the ocean, I'll bet lots of holes in them.

Veronica: JJJDDDD!

JD: I have a problem. I have a serious problem.

Veronica: You are just terrible today!

JD: Shh...do you hear that? That's the sound of forgiveness.

Veronica: That's the sound of people drowning, JD!

JD: That is what forgiveness sounds like; screaming and then silence.


	3. Episode 3

Episode 3

Veronica: Uh, JD! We're supposed to be on vacation!

JD: I don't know about you, but I'm having a wonderful time here!

Veronica: You blew up and toppled an entire South American government, JD!

JD: The people have spoken. Viva la resistance!

Veronica: You shoved the resistance leader under a giant van!

JD: He was a traitor and a scoundrel.

Veronica: He was trying to stop you from pushing_ other _people under a giant van!

_***THWOP***_

JD: Woah! That was a foot. It appeared one of our dogs seemed to have swallowed an entire person.

Veronica: That would be the hotel bartender.

JD: Well, that could explain why my 7-11 slushie was taking so long.

Veronica: It was horrifying. His mouth_ unhinged _like a snake!

JD: Wow, that sounds pretty awesome!

Veronica: I can't go anywhere with you, JD!

JD: That hurt my feelings. Now we're both in the wrong!

Veronica: I wanna go home! We're leaving!

JD: Well, in that case, I should probably mention that I filled our luggage with senior meat.

Veronica: Wait, what-?!

JD: Well I'm building a meat bomb and not just any meat will do!

Veronica: You know what? Forget it. I'm not even shocked anymore!

JD: Aw, that's no fun.

Veronica: This has become the norm for you, JD.

JD: I have to try harder next time.

Veronica: Please don't!

JD: I feel like I've been initiated a challenge.

Veronica: JDDDD!

JD: It's too late now...you.

Veronica: ...You?

JD: I totally don't remember your name.

Veronica: We've known each other for three years, JD!

JD: And what an impression you've made!

Veronica: My name is Veronica.

JD: What?

Veronica: I said my name is Veronica.

JD: Oh. I thought you were a Heather.

Veronica: Why would you think that?

JD: Mostly the blazer. Are you sure?

Veronica: Of course I'm sure!

JD: Well, if you'll excuse me, I have some pictures to delete from my computer.


End file.
